Dread
About this work
I’ve been wearing glasses for basically my whole life. I’m severely myopic, i.e., nearsighted and as I get older and my eyesight gets worse, more and more vision issues seem to crop up. The biggest one is that severe myopia means your eye is stretched out, which means the retina can detach from your eye and cause you to go blind without immediate treatment.
I was first told this at an appointment one summer. The optometrist gave me three signs to watch out for: a sudden increase in eye floaters, flashes of light in my peripheral vision, and a curtain over my central or peripheral vision. I left for my third year shortly after and experienced the first two almost immediately.
This gave me a unique sense of dread. I booked an appointment with an optometrist in Mississauga, but the potential of going blind prevented me from doing anything. So, a week before my appointment, on the way to class, I frantically called the clinic and had my appointment moved up. The optometrist said there was no immediate risk and referred me to a retinal specialist, who said the same.
It should’ve brought me some comfort, but in the months that passed, I was unable to ignore the floaters in my eyes. The thing about them is that I can’t treat them, ignore them, or remove them (they’re literally all in my head!). My glasses correct me really, really well, so I might have been able to forget that my vision was as bad as it was if it weren’t for the floaters in my eyes. They remind me that even if it’s not very likely that I go blind any time soon, it’s always a possibility.
(For the curious, my prescription is OS (Left) -9.50 / OD (Right) -8.00. Last I inquired, that’s something like 20/400, but that might be generous. I’ve also got an astigmatism on the left eye.)
Process
Part of the reason the floaters are so apparent is because when I wear my glasses, my vision is clear but the floaters are blurry. Another reason is because they’re black and brown, and they contrast with any bright environment. I had the idea for this piece after being bothered by them for weeks waiting for the bus in the daytime.
One day in uni, I took my glasses off and just walked. I think I was trying to exposure-therapy my dread away. It made me realise just how impaired my vision was — for example, I couldn’t read signs that were ten feet away, and I could only use colour to read the walk sign. I had the idea for the piece on the walk and decided to take a bunch of photos. I studied the blurriness of the scenes through my own eyes, and when I got home later, I opened Procreate on my iPad and adjusted the Gaussian blur to what seemed appropriate.
Then, I looked at a white screen on my computer to examine the shape, distance, and thickness of my floaters. I drew what I saw on top of it, so when you look at this image, you’re seeing exactly what I see whenever my glasses come off.
The text in Braille reads: Dread / OS -9.50 / OD -8.00.
Unfortunately, my iPad files got corrupted like a week after I made this, and I lost the project file. :(
Type
Art
Tools
Procreate
Client
Personal
Year
2026
Alternate title
Oculus Dexter